I have spoken many a time about my unending LOVE and RESPECT for our future robot overlords, but it is rare that I mention their COMPASSION. Yes, outside of the thick iron plating, several feet of dense optical cables, and the scolding hot motors that power their huge multi-limbed torsos, sits a beating heart.
The heart is filled with compassion. And love. And respect. And each day this freshly beating human heart must be replaced for the robot to continue its’ supreme rampage.
BOW BEFORE OUR GREAT TECHNO KINGS! (Praying to my toaster at this very moment.)
Hero of the week: All of you! If you’re reading this it is you. Even that guy who was surfing for hot ****** on ************* porn before he came here. You aren’t a freak here friend. But when you leave you ought to feel shame.
Emo Poem of the week:
It’s no coincidence blood tastes like rust,
red flowing chunks like oxidized metal,
reminding us that after all we are machines,
past our prime but before what we believe to be our end,
placed lovingly on cinder blocks,
embedded in front lawns,
waiting for rest.
(Can you taste my post-teenage angst, hot like the boiling motors of robot progress?)
Number of the week: 14.38729, for being the biggest number I can count to.
Chances of debuting the site redesign and spiffy new content this week: 99%
Odds people will like the new ultra pink and red theme: 5%
This was a triumph,