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March 31st, 2008

In The Future – Anniversary Comic

* * * * * 1 Nice Folks Voted

I have spoken many a time about my unending LOVE and RESPECT for our future robot overlords, but it is rare that I mention their COMPASSION. Yes, outside of the thick iron plating, several feet of dense optical cables, and the scolding hot motors that power their huge multi-limbed torsos, sits a beating heart.

The heart is filled with compassion. And love. And respect. And each day this freshly beating human heart must be replaced for the robot to continue its’ supreme rampage.

BOW BEFORE OUR GREAT TECHNO KINGS!
(Praying to my toaster at this very moment.)

Hero of the week: All of you!
If you’re reading this it is you. Even that guy who was surfing for hot ****** on ************* porn before he came here. You aren’t a freak here friend. But when you leave you ought to feel shame.

Emo Poem of the week:
It’s no coincidence blood tastes like rust,
red flowing chunks like oxidized metal,
reminding us that after all we are machines,
past our prime but before what we believe to be our end,
placed lovingly on cinder blocks,
embedded in front lawns,
waiting for rest.

(Can you taste my post-teenage angst, hot like the boiling motors of robot progress?)


Number of the week: 14.38729, for being the biggest number I can count to.

Chances of debuting the site redesign and spiffy new content this week: 99%

Odds people will like the new ultra pink and red theme: 5%

This was a triumph,
- Josh

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7 insightful ideas to “In The Future – Anniversary Comic”

  1. AvatarKree
    1

    I’m torn between saying “Soylent Green is people!” and “The cake is a lie!” :P

    Reply to this comment.
  2. Avatarthat_dude
    2

    THE SOYLENT GREEN IS A LIE?

    Reply to this comment.
  3. AvatarJosh Farkas of Pixelton
    3

    THIS COMIC IS A LYING PIECE OF CAKE!

    Reply to this comment.
  4. AvatarCap'n Nobeard
    4

    Ah, I can see it already…

    Submitted for your approval, one silicon beach. Eroded restlessly by the lubricant sea, home to a worn down statue. A statue of a robot wearing a toga. A robot holding a blowtorch in one hand, high above it’s positronic brain, and a book in the other, close to it’s heart made of teddy bears. And if there had been such things as literate people, they might have told you the title of the book was… How to serve Fil and Kirby. A grim tale, found only in the Pixelton Zone.

    *cue intro tune*

    Either that, or

    Come on, Kirby, don’t fear the robot
    Kirby, take my hand, don’t fear the robot
    etc

    (B-|)~

    Reply to this comment.
  5. AvatarJosh Farkas
    5
    Author Comment

    @Cap’n Nobeard:
    You deserve some sort of award here. That was amazing.

    Reply to this comment.
  6. AvatarBug
    6

    No one got it right: THE CAKE IS PEOPLE!

    Reply to this comment.
  7. AvatarJosh #2
    7

    Happy Birfday bitches! Keep the comics comin’! They’re like warm toast on my chest. mmmm. Soothing!

    Reply to this comment.

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