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September 13th, 2007

Career Change pt 2 – The Comic

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Pirates amaze me. They’re like the hippies of the sea, but instead of excess love-ins and psychedelic mushrooms they have pillaging and manatees lovers. Not a bad trade in. But everything else is the same: Lack of showering, belief in a modified form of socialism, inedible food, love of earth tones, and bitchin rides featuring skulls and/or peace signs.

Did you know pirates still exist? (And not the lame MPAA “downloading makes baby jesus cry” kind) This magic image below is brought to you by the folks at the ICC and the letter “Q”, ironically enough, both of which are spending your hard earned money to fight pirates.
Map of Pirate Attacks 2007

The above is a breakdown of all of the pirate attacks in 2007. The red dots are successful attempts, while the yellow dots are failed attempts. This visual only goes further to prove that pirates and hippies are born from the same cloth – pirates appear to have a crappy rate of follow-through. Sound familiar?

My real reason for showing the map is to point out how many pirate attacks there have been in the Chicago area. Let me double check…oh yes…none. And why? Well I believe that is due to the severe lack of an ocean. Lakes make great distractions but their limited ability to provide adequate escape surely cuts down on said looting. Alas, I still would like to be a pirate. And I’m sure that many others would also jump at the chance.

Enter the tree pirate. So I think you see where I’m going here. With tree pirate franchises sweeping the nation we could loot each town until the mayor himself/herself would dance to our sea shanty songs, and there are plenty of trees. I mean, if we can find an arboretum next to a bank we’re golden for life. Mankind will be like a small metaphor in the hands larger metaphor wrapped in simile.

RISE CHILDREN OF THE TREES! THE HOUR IS NIGH!

(Jesus, updates at 3am get weird real fast. And I always somehow end with the line above :D )

Thanks again for taking the time to read. If you don’t like the pirate thing there are only a few more pages left. This is short diversion. And a quick reminder that I’m giving something very special away this Saturday to subscribers only, so sign up for a day or two to get your schwag. ARRRGGHH! ARRRRRRRRRGGGGHHH!

-Josh

EDIT: Darren from the comic DEAR PIRATE has a good point that my pirate speech is clearly inaccurate. My pirate is screaming in pain not saluting a brother ocean hippie. This blog will be closed in the next ten minutes out of deep shame and respect to our sea brothers. Or not. Or you could just go visit Darren’s funny pirate tales as a small offering to the sea gods.

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7 insightful ideas to “Career Change pt 2 – The Comic”

  1. AvatarDarren J. Gendron
    1

    Argh is what you say when you stub your toe. Arr! is what you say when you’re a pirate. It could be the midwest accent muddling it up, though.
    Still, I’m going to have to keep an eye on the piracy map.

    Reply to this comment.
  2. AvatarNdogg 550
    2

    Hilarious. The strip ruled today and the blog f-ing kills me every time, especially today.

    Reply to this comment.
  3. AvatarFelonious Tub
    3

    I just started getting into your site, great comic. I’m hooked already.

    Reply to this comment.
  4. Avataradmin
    4
    Author Comment

    Thanks so much guys. You’ve made a hard day worthwhile. :)

    Reply to this comment.
  5. AvatarDeanna
    5

    I live right by a bank and an arboretum…future career perhaps….

    I wonder how I would look in a pirate hat?????

    Reply to this comment.
  6. AvatarNic
    6

    Great comic! I love Fil. And the yellow thingy was incredibly strange… but still funneh xD

    Reply to this comment.
  7. Avataroutlet
    7

    It? arduous to seek out educated individuals on this matter, but you sound like you recognize what you?e talking about! Thanks

    Reply to this comment.

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